Post by Weird_O on Jul 20, 2004 3:36:13 GMT -5
Everytime I see you, I feel your pain. I see the life in you slowly flew away. I couldn't bear looking at you sometimes. I looked at you and I see myself some time ago. Devoid of hope and clinging to the last strand in the straw. I saw the great fight you put up for us. I feel the weight of every step you took to get where you are now. And it destroyed you in the end. You can't escape the past. You can't and you won't let go.
I wanted to offer a helping hand, but you simply refused to help yourself and reach out. I understand, I know you'd rather suffer than share your pain. And breaching your wall of silence is perhaps detestable in a way. I didn't because I know, in your shoes I wouldn't want anybody to. Its yours and yours to carry alone. Nobody can help you but yourself, but you refuse to believe that it really is simple. Acceptance is a start. You refused to. The dark pit of oblivion is beconning, and you let yourself be ensnared by its sweet talk... believing now that it is the easiest way out... the only way out.
I've already forgiven you. You broke the trust, yes... but why don't you give yourself a chance and make peace with yourself for a change. I've been there... believe me. I was as hurt as you are. And the things I've said... and a lot of the things I did... who would I ask for forgiveness... to you? You deserved it. Everything. You hurt me. But I already have forgiven you... and in turn forgiven myself. Coz hate can only take you this far. Yes, I hated you. But not anymore. And maybe you deserved it all. But hate is double edged... it almost destroyed what compassion I have left... what feelings I have left... that I forgotten that I have people to care for. I realized that now... after looking at you. I don't hate you anymore... I pity you.
And pity me. I have to fill your shoes. Now that you decided to take the high road. The cowards way. It's no loss. I've shed my tears on you. There's nothing left. Only grief. But hope is still here. Unlike you, I will take my chances here... even without your help. I could managed. Besides, you were'nt there all my life. And I realized, you're not the person I knew and adored so much. But I wouldn't hold grudge against you... when I needed you most and you weren't there... when I needed guidance and you're not there... when I broke my heart and you're not there... when I fell in love for the first time you're still not there... I can't even remember the highest point in my life that you are there. Pity me huh? No. I'm glad you're not there... I learned life's lessons all on my own. I maybe missing the mark sometimes... and losts my way all the time... but am still here... holding on. I didn't give up. I didn't gave you up. I fought our battle the same way I fought my own battles.
... I hope you make it through alone. Even after what you did... I still care a lot about you. And if ever you decided to come back... if... after you've won your personal battles and decided to come back... I'd be there for you... by your side.
... I just hope I won't disappoint you if I make it without you.
I wanted to offer a helping hand, but you simply refused to help yourself and reach out. I understand, I know you'd rather suffer than share your pain. And breaching your wall of silence is perhaps detestable in a way. I didn't because I know, in your shoes I wouldn't want anybody to. Its yours and yours to carry alone. Nobody can help you but yourself, but you refuse to believe that it really is simple. Acceptance is a start. You refused to. The dark pit of oblivion is beconning, and you let yourself be ensnared by its sweet talk... believing now that it is the easiest way out... the only way out.
I've already forgiven you. You broke the trust, yes... but why don't you give yourself a chance and make peace with yourself for a change. I've been there... believe me. I was as hurt as you are. And the things I've said... and a lot of the things I did... who would I ask for forgiveness... to you? You deserved it. Everything. You hurt me. But I already have forgiven you... and in turn forgiven myself. Coz hate can only take you this far. Yes, I hated you. But not anymore. And maybe you deserved it all. But hate is double edged... it almost destroyed what compassion I have left... what feelings I have left... that I forgotten that I have people to care for. I realized that now... after looking at you. I don't hate you anymore... I pity you.
And pity me. I have to fill your shoes. Now that you decided to take the high road. The cowards way. It's no loss. I've shed my tears on you. There's nothing left. Only grief. But hope is still here. Unlike you, I will take my chances here... even without your help. I could managed. Besides, you were'nt there all my life. And I realized, you're not the person I knew and adored so much. But I wouldn't hold grudge against you... when I needed you most and you weren't there... when I needed guidance and you're not there... when I broke my heart and you're not there... when I fell in love for the first time you're still not there... I can't even remember the highest point in my life that you are there. Pity me huh? No. I'm glad you're not there... I learned life's lessons all on my own. I maybe missing the mark sometimes... and losts my way all the time... but am still here... holding on. I didn't give up. I didn't gave you up. I fought our battle the same way I fought my own battles.
... I hope you make it through alone. Even after what you did... I still care a lot about you. And if ever you decided to come back... if... after you've won your personal battles and decided to come back... I'd be there for you... by your side.
... I just hope I won't disappoint you if I make it without you.