|
|
Post by dobby on Mar 25, 2004 3:29:13 GMT -5
Can you stay being friends with someone you love so much though you know that all ds person can give you is pure friendship...
" how can you assume to be friends with someone when all you think about when you look at him/her is how much more you really want " --- Dawson's Creek
" is it possible to be just friends with someone I have this sort of non-moderate feelings for or am i just doomed forever to just be in love and ultimately significantly hurt " --- Felicity
|
|
Weird_O
Tambay Senior
life is weird, aint it?
Posts: 199
|
Post by Weird_O on Mar 25, 2004 5:01:05 GMT -5
when you feel that despite your best intentions you might be doing more harm than good... I think you should step away and let wounds heal, issues settled, you forgiven before making any sort of contact with a person...
|
|
tep
Tambay Senior
Posts: 100
|
Post by tep on Mar 25, 2004 20:25:53 GMT -5
when you step away and let wounds heal... meaning no communication at all for quite some time? do you have to tell your friend that you need some space... yung tipong you'll ask him/her to let you go as a friend muna for a while because you need some time to think and settle this issues alone...  |
|
Weird_O
Tambay Senior
life is weird, aint it?
Posts: 199
|
Post by Weird_O on Mar 25, 2004 21:19:53 GMT -5
On the question of being friends again... hey! why not? What's the big deal, right? But the question still stands, what's in it for me? Honesty plays a major role in this situation. Not only for yourself but also for him. The question you should be asking are: What are my intentions of us being friends again? Are there any hang-ups and issues unresolved that I still feel we should address? Do I love you still? Or traces of which? [which undeniably will still be there of course] But why this questions? Why not complicate things? Pede ba na friends na kayo na lang? Well Booo hooo! Am a complicated person, and I need a lot of things to consider to cover all loose ends. I'm not into situations that I haven't anticipated and planned for in advance. So why? Sabi ko nga, despite my best intentions that we become friends, do I still feel a twinge of guilt between us for the things I've done (if that was the reason of the break up) that I wanted to make it up to you just to lift my own guilt? The most important thing is, do you still love me? Would it be best that you lick your wounds and d**n me to hell for what I did than suffer my offer of friendship? What's the underlying motive of me asking you again to be my friend... is going to help us move on? Or do I still want us?  |
|
|
|
Post by dobby on Mar 25, 2004 21:45:25 GMT -5
if you are friends muna before naging "kayo" and you have a strong friendship talaga... it is much easier to be friends again  pero actually gusto ko sana dedicate tong thread with a hopeless romantic friend of ours " Noel" who keeps on asking me this question... do I have to stay as her friend kahit na mahal ko sya and i know na gusto nya friends lang kmi... how can I let go of my feelings if I keep on talking to her... spending time with her... |
|
Weird_O
Tambay Senior
life is weird, aint it?
Posts: 199
|
Post by Weird_O on Mar 25, 2004 22:11:54 GMT -5
if you are friends muna before naging "kayo" and you have a strong friendship talaga... it is much easier to be friends again I disagree, it would depend on how much you've hurt each other... or how much you love each other... yes, I agree that they would eventually come to terms with that episode in life but still friendship still is a long way off and both parties are open to accept each other again without the strain of that episode. pero actually gusto ko sana dedicate tong thread with a hopeless romantic friend of ours " Noel" who keeps on asking me this question... do I have to stay as her friend kahit na mahal ko sya and i know na gusto nya friends lang kmi... how can I let go of my feelings if I keep on talking to her... spending time with her... he's still not over that huh? was that our topic tonight kaya tayo magkikita ng mga fourbees? |
|
|
|
Post by dobby on Mar 25, 2004 22:40:59 GMT -5
eh kahit naman hindi yun ang agenda 2nyt for sure masasama pa din yan or halos yan na naman pag uusapan  |
|
|
|
Post by .::Rajo::. on Mar 25, 2004 23:10:26 GMT -5
ugh! just what I expeted... |
|
|
|
Post by irresistible on Mar 26, 2004 8:55:33 GMT -5
pasabat... >> "how can I let go of my feelings if I keep on talking to her... spending time with her...?" you can't. the more you get close or be with that person the more you'll get attached to him/her. the more difficult for you to get over with him/her. parang quicksand effect. it'll be harder for you to get out.. i read somewhere that in order for us to get rid of our romantic feelings for someone who cannot requite the same for us, we should start seeing that someone as a friend/brother/sister. we should change our mindset about that person. completely. hehehe.. easier said than done, eh? ;D if only we can get to our hearts what our head has been screaming about!  but as they say, it's only the first step that is difficult.. |
|
|
|
Post by JoJoCrisologo on Mar 27, 2004 6:28:56 GMT -5
 ... the question is.. " Why Not.. ? " 
|
|
|
|
Post by irresistible on Mar 27, 2004 9:11:00 GMT -5
JoJo, cno tinatanong mo? anong 'why not' hehe ;D |
|
tep
Tambay Senior
Posts: 100
|
Post by tep on Mar 28, 2004 22:00:05 GMT -5
hmmmm......... cno nga kaya ask ni Mr. Jojo Crisologo... ---------------------------------------------------------- you can't. the more you get close or be with that person the more you'll get attached to him/her. the more difficult for you to get over with him/her. parang quicksand effect. it'll be harder for you to get out.. TOTALLY AGREE! |
|
Weird_O
Tambay Senior
life is weird, aint it?
Posts: 199
|
Post by Weird_O on Mar 29, 2004 0:29:12 GMT -5
Why not? Going back to the question... Can you stay friends with someone you love so much though you know she just wants you to be friends... Answer... why not. True. Stay friends with her, if she allows it. There's nothing wrong with that. But just stay friends, set the boundaries. Make no mistake about this. If your intention is just to be for friends, set your boundaries over it. Until the situation or she changes mind. It's up to you how much self control and disciplined you are. If you are doing more harm, despite your best intentions, and that it affects her badly, it is best that you step back and deal with the best solution as possible. ... to the extent of completely cutting off your communication with her. This works both ways... for you and for her. My two cents worth. |
|
|
|
Post by irresistible on Mar 29, 2004 6:20:33 GMT -5
"Stay friends with her, if she allows it. " - Weird_O
Yup. only if she allows it kc some girls aren't comfortable with the idea of being friends to someone whom they know have romantic feelings for them. para kasing every move, every word eh may deep meaning.
hindi na din cguro maaalis ung magka-ilangan kayo from time to time knowing na she still remains special for u.. and give her time din to let it sink na you are content of being friends na lang with her kc u cannot easily switch from a "suitor" mode to "friend" mode. ;D
|
|
Weird_O
Tambay Senior
life is weird, aint it?
Posts: 199
|
Post by Weird_O on Apr 4, 2004 21:41:57 GMT -5
How much would it cost us emotionally if we started on the positive direction?
Usually the first step in forgiveness is acceptance. How hard it will be to accept that one, you might have hurt him or vice versa, and two, the romantic angle isn't possible anymore, and three, should I forgive you?
Forgive you for what? For breaking my heart? For making me wait on the sidewalk craning my neck left and right waiting for you? For making me think of you every night on end without let up for days? For tormenting me? Best of all that you didn't know that I suffered for just loving you?
... or should you forgive me for breaking the boundary between us? for making you feel awkward in front of your friends... or for feeling stalked... or for your need to change your route home just to avoid me... and best of all should you forgive me for falling in love with you?
he he.. funny isn't it? ;D
|
|
but as they say, it's only the first step that is difficult.. 
... 